Hey, you know those 'mechanical claw' machines (the one where you spend 20-50p and you use a joystick to control the claw to pick up your prise). They have a box in them (honest) that controls if the grabber grabs hard or soft, the box is in a constant ratio, e.g. 10 soft grabs to 1 hard grad which gets you the toy, the way to win this is to wait for someone to win, then count how many people loose until the next person wins. Next you wait for the same amount of people to have a go, on the winning turn you go up to the machine and take your prise (if you can aim it right).
"The Marmalisation Process has been scientifically designed to ensure a sense of euphoria and satisfaction should be had by all... There are no, known, Long Term side effects to the Marmalisation process, however short term side effects may include: dizziness, vomiting, loss of balance, loss of limb control, feinting, wild hallucinations but most importantly Smiles!"